I've been getting a lot of emails and questions about going on actual dates on Saturday night. I can't believe we are still fighting this battle with ourselves over the age old "Saturday Night". I want to share a piece I wrote 3 years ago (tweaked a bit) on how silly this "Saturday Night" date night misconception is...thanks for your messages, questions and emails!
Picture it, twenty plus years ago, you are experiencing the exciting world of dating. It’s Saturday afternoon and you are picking out the perfect outfit for a night on the town with your new love interest. It’s been about a month and you have established an exciting routine. You take turns going over each other’s houses, you go from once, twice, to three times a week and anxiously anticipate the ever so famous Saturday night date night. Last week it was a fancy dinner, this week you are going to a posh new club for cocktails and dancing. You are frantically getting ready with butterflies in your stomach, yet grounded and satiated because you are in a clearly defined relationship. What came after that, probably love and marriage right?
Now let’s go back fifteen years. You are married, building a life with your spouse, and creating a family and a foundation of love. You are busy with the house, work, activities and maybe kids. It’s Thursday and you are anticipating Saturday night date night with your spouse. Dinner reservations are made; plans set in stone, maybe even a babysitter. Life is a bit more hectic but your salvation was your Saturday night. Society has always dictated Saturday night as “date” night. According to Natasha Jackson-Arnautu’s, “History of Dating & Courtship”, in the very early colonial days men and women set up private and public courtship for the means of creating family to help with their workload. They spent all week working on buildings, projects, etc and waiting until the end of the week to court, hence the Saturday night. This custom carried all the way into our present. Think about Saturday night references over the course of the many many decades of our lives. How about the lyrics to Jimmy Buffet’s, “Another Saturday Night and I ain’t got nobody” © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC But there are so many obstacles now; I think you can agree it’s time to reconsider the Saturday night myth.
Here you are in 2015. Older, wiser, single and twenty years more clueless than ever! Your divorce is finally over and you have allowed yourself to get back in the game. You feel good about yourself and you have been meeting some really great people. So why is it that you are still alone on Saturday night? Why do you only see the man you are dating on Mondays at nine o’clock at night or maybe one Saturday a month? Your married friends tell you that it is not "dating"! Well says who? Let’s make our own rules and stop feeling down about it. Do not let Saturday night’s, two hundred year old rules bring you down and make you feel bad about yourself because this dating thing is not working according to the Saturday night plan. The old rules of dating do not apply anymore. Do not get down or depressed, it is not you. Never let Saturday night define your success with dating. It’s completely different now.
Divorcees come out into the real world relating to that small spell in which we were young, free and dating to fall in love. Times have changed, you have changed, and the world has changed! We have kids, full time jobs, friends and families. You might meet someone who is perfectly stable and emotionally ready to date however they have a son in football and a daughter in travel basketball. One of you is an executive and travels to another state three times a month. Or, the other one has kids one week on one week off, every other Saturday, the second Thursday of every month. Or, let’s see you have a full time demanding life or responsibility and would like to actually rest on the weekends.
Remember this is all normal. Life gets in the way. The most important thing to do is find balance and certainly embrace dating. But do not think you are inadequate or not valued because you are “alone” on Saturday nights. It is so refreshing to know that after a tough week we have the freedom to choose to be alone on Saturday nights. Look at the positive side. Stay in communication with your partner and come to a compromise as to when you can enjoy some time together. You are amazing, fantastic and who would not want to be with you? If it is not on Saturday night, who cares, just enjoy. This is your life and your rules!